It has been 6 weeks since we took placement of Robel and I have so much to share about this last month and a half. In an effort to keep this post from becoming a book, I think it best to focus on our week in Ethiopia!
Some background information is definitely needed here in order to understand our amazement. Prior to starting our adoption, I had NO idea what a blog even was. Within a few months, I had found lots of blogs, many of which were Gladney families, that focused on their adoption. I checked and read everyday for any information. I took notes people. I was not only getting prepared through all the training, I was reading real-life accounts of placements, homecomings and adjustment periods.
We eventually met some other couples in our area who also had adopted from ET and I extracted as much information and advice from them as possible. As we got closer to our Embassy appt, I began to freak out. When I say freak out, I was calling my good friend (she's an adoption social worker) for books to read, knowing full well I did not have time to finish anything, but I was stressing, afraid I wasn't as prepared as I should be for what was to come my way.
So, you may be asking, what in the world was I freaking out about....let me get my list!
- The initial placement - would he be sad, scared, would he cry (I don't like seeing those things in my kids)
- Sleep time - I had heard that this is possibly the worst time for kiddos due to sadness, fear
- Over stimulation with the environment - the size of the guest house, our house, sounds, etc...
- Him choosing one parent over the other - I really wanted him to choose me, but I would feel so bad for Bob if he did! :)
- The coffee ceremony - would he do OK going back to the foster care center and did I want to make him
- Car rides, baths, the plane ride, food issues, and eventually CAR SEATS!
You understand now the amount of uncertainty swirling around in my head. It was endless! I was so thankful to have had ALL the stories to help in preparing me for what was to come. I felt as ready as I could be.
The moment finally came. It was Friday afternoon about 2:30. Anbes was pulling into the gate with our son. We stood at the top of the stairs watching this surreal moment play out in front of our eyes. I had dreamed how this moment would be for us. I was nervous and excited and UNCERTAIN of what to do next. And then it happened. Sami, our driver, placed Robel in my arms. He was looking so unsure of who we were, what he was doing there. After quite awhile of me holding on to him for dear life, Bob finally asked, "Are you going to let me hold our son?" Oops! I guess I had to share! I will always cherish those first few minutes.
Our first hour with Robel. I love this photo because for the longest time, he held the cars just like this.
But let me tell you...there were no tears, no hysterics, just confused eyes looking back at us. We eventually took him upstairs and pulled out every toy we brought and within an hour or so we were getting some little smiles. We played lots that afternoon, keeping it as mellow as possible. Fortunately, we were the only family there that day so it was very quiet and calm. We fed him some Shiro for dinner, gave him a bottle and off to sleep he went, without tears! I certainly didn't sleep all that great, but he slept all night. When he woke, his look was of uncertainty again, but no tears.
Every morning got better as he became more familiar with us. By Sunday night we were taking him to restaurants for meals. Let me insert here, he did not eat all that well. I was again, a nervous wreck not being able to get him to eat much. So thankful for the BJoe girls. They made shiro for him and he would certainly eat that.
The 1st morning we got smiles right away!
Robel's 1st time in a restaurant (Makush)!
Another restaurant...being a "ham!"
My boy likes his shiro and injera!
I will interject here that while at the guest house, we met several other families who were also taking placement of their children. It was fun to meet them and see this whole process playing out for other families as well. But what I didn't anticipate was the awkwardness. Both Bob and I are fairly outgoing, but we found ourselves sharing this very personal experience with very new acquaintances, which we found to be really hard. We ended up in our room quite a lot. But I have to say they were great! It was just an element I had not anticipated.
As the days went by, we noticed how he was bonding so well. When new people arrived, he hid behind us, peeking through our legs, he was really only interested in being with Bob or me. We were even able to do a little shopping and he did great. Slowly, by Tuesday, we noticed that he was being just a regular toddler. While shopping, he wanted to be down running around, but always checking to make sure Bob or I was close by. And the only time he really cried was bath time.
Playing in the yard. He loves being outside!
Unfortunately, by Monday night, Robel began running a fever. It seemed he would run fevers at night, but during the day the fever would vanish. Not that I would ever wish this as part of the process, but I will venture out and say that this may have added to our bonding experience. When he felt yucky, we were right there to hold and cuddle and "make things better!"
Wednesday was our Embassy appt. He had run a pretty good fever Tuesday night, but again, by morning the fever seemed to be gone. To be on the safe side, however, we decided after the Embassy appt we would head to the Foster Care Center for the coffee ceremony and see the pediatrician about the fever.
The coffee ceremony went like I had feared, not as I had hoped. As soon as we walked through the gates the tears began. We tried to back away in hopes that he would settle. Unfortunately, it didn't work. I will always be so grateful to the ladies that took care of him while he was there. I KNOW they loved him and I felt so bad that their reunion with him was going this way. We were able to get some pictures before the dr. called us in. He was still crying the whole time, while being checked, and we were told he had an ear infection. It was at that point that we decided to leave. He was not settling down at all, and we had a prescription to fill. So, we quickly said our goodbyes and left.
Robel and his special mom, Hirut!
As soon as we left, the tears ceased and he fell asleep. Poor baby took a 4 hour nap. He was a champ taking his antibiotic! Wednesday was stressful for sure, but again, this was our unique experience in our bonding process! I was anticipating some setbacks due to the "trauma" from the day. However, when he woke from his nap, he was all smiles, played with us, laughing lots, and even began interacting with another little boy at the guest house that night.
Thursday was the day we were heading home. However, before we could make our trip to the airport, we had the opportunity to meet Robel's birthfather. What a treasure for us and for him. I will forever cherish that hour's visit.
After a great lunch with Anbes and his wife, we headed to the airport. Due to some unforeseen delays, we were running a little late. I do not recommend this at all. Thankfully, we had done some "stroller training" through out the week, getting Robel used to the stroller. That training came in super handy as we ran through the airport. Again, I am thinking is the poor kid going to be traumatized...but no, he was giggling like this was the greatest adventure ever.
We love BJoes and all the girls!!!
I can say now that he did great on the plane rides. He slept a little on the flight from ET to Dubai but we did have to entertain quite a bit. We had a horrendous layover (6 hours) in Dubai. Robel loved the people movers in the airport which lent us hours of entertainment. And when his little body couldn't take it any longer, he took his bottle and crashed. We had to wake him to get him to the gate and on the next flight. That hour or so was not so pleasant...he was exhausted! However, once on the plane, he ate a little and slept for a good part of the flight.
And this is how we spent some of our time in Dubai!
The story gets a little interesting here. We had checked the weather online prior to leaving ET, and saw that a big storm was blowing through CA. Normally, we would only deal with some rain and all would be ok. However, we had a 3 hour drive through the mountains and snow was expected. In CA, when snow falls in the mountains, they often close the freeways. We were just hoping we made it across the pass before the storm hit. When we landed, we had our little baby in his his pjs (shorts and t-shirt) and it is pouring. We did our best to fly through customs, claim our bags and catch our shuttle to our car. It was freezing and so we had our little guy, in his summer pjs, wrapped in blankets, trying to keep him as warm and dry as possible. Again, I am thinking, the trauma he is facing may be too much for him. He just smiled and stared at everything that was happening.
Finally, the moment we had been dreading...the CAR SEAT! We had no idea how he would handle being confined into the seat, much less a 3 hour ride. So, we just went for it. I plopped him in, buckled him quickly, and he whimpered for just a second until I got in next to him. Again, he just stared at everything around him. After about 15 minutes on the freeway, he reached out wanting me to hold him. Bob turned on his Classic Rock music and the dude was out! He slept for the next 2 1/2 hours! YEAH! He woke up ready to be released. And I must say as we crested the top of the mountain range, the snow had just begun. Praise the Lord, we made it!!!! I think just a couple hours later, the freeway was closed for the day!
Our homecoming was at our house. Unconventional, I know. But landing so far away, we had friends and family waiting for us to welcome us home and then they were all kicked out. Pictures will come later because I am waiting on them from my dear friend....hint...hint...!
I know that I would feel blessed no matter what our circumstances had been, but I watch Robel and continue to be amazed at how well he has adjusted and adapted to his new home, surroundings, and adventures! He is one amazing kiddo.
